Bring up the topic of divorce and social media to any group of family law attorneys and we all have our stories about clients’ and opposing parties’ blunders.
“She said she had been sober for eight months. I found a picture from St. Patrick’s Day this year where she drinking.”
“He said he was financially struggling and almost unable to pay his basic living expenses but he had pictures of him and his girlfriend on a two week trip to Bali.”
Yes. This really happens. Frequently. Sometimes teenage children or adult children are privy to these postings. Sometimes the blunders are more “subtle”.
“On Father’s Day, I am grateful for my dad because he shows my kids what it is like to have a great dad.”
A picture of husband and his new girlfriend and the caption, “Finally met someone good enough to be the ONE!!!”
Clients often think they are saved by “privacy settings”. They are not. For every client who thinks they are saved by those settings, I have a dozen other clients who totally forgot they were still friends with their soon to be ex’s cousin or friend from high school. Those cousins or friends from high school seem to always come through with screenshots. So if you are facing a divorce, what should you do regarding your social media?
1) Remember that if you post it, the judge may see it. One day, it might become a trial exhibit. Do you really want to post it or can you call a friend instead?
2) Ask yourself: is this something that I would want my children to see me doing or saying?
3) Privacy settings are not fail-proof, but this is a good time to double check that they are appropriate. Also, consider changing your setting to disallow other people from tagging photos of you without your consent.
4) Review your friend lists. It may be time for a purge.
5) Be tenacious about comments that your friends or family make on your page. The defense of “I didn’t call him a [fill in the blank] my friend did”, doesn’t really work. If they are being negative about your soon to be ex, gently correct them on the post (or better yet, delete the comment) and talk in private about how you are trying to keep things amicable.
6) Don’t stalk your ex on social media (unless you are legitimately getting relevant information for the divorce together). And just because you know his/her password, please don’t use it to gather intel.
7) If possible, talk to your spouse and see if you can agree on what to post/not post on social media regarding the divorce and the children.
8) Consider not providing all 537 of your friends on social media with a play by play of your divorce. Yes, your new found knowledge of family law is impressive and you are really excited about the fact that the court awarded you temporary occupancy of the home, but this is better conversation to have with a friend or family member. Reflect on not posting anything about your divorce during your divorce or maybe even taking a break from social media in general.
9) If you have started dating during a divorce, consider not sharing that on social media.
10) You probably felt that you really needed those new shoes or clubs after a really stressful hearing (and you probably did), but social media does not need to know about it especially if finances are an issue in your divorce.
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